A Good Word

Heartbreak and Healing

I peered from my window at the snowy street below. The white roofs looked like clean blankets—and I longed to cover my inner iciness with a blanket of peace. I still couldn’t forgive Nathan, the man who left me the day before our wedding eight years earlier.

His words, “I’m sorry. I can’t marry you,” still echoed in my mind.

I asked why he wouldn’t marry me, but he had just shaken his head. In shock, I closed the door on him that day.

I often looked at Nathan’s handsome face in the framed picture in my dresser drawer. It made me feel better to scream, “You broke my heart! Why did you leave me so near our wedding day? You humiliated me!”

Last Christmas, I drove three hours to my hometown for our annual family gathering. My sister Luanne said, “It is only right to forgive Nathan. I don’t know why he broke up with you, but bitterness won’t help anything, Janet.”

“I can’t do that!” I cried. Luanne could easily forgive him. She had a happy marriage and three children.

Nathan still owned my heart. I figured he had married an attractive woman to match his good looks. I turned from the snowy window scene and dried my tears.

After work the next evening, I trekked several blocks to talk with Pastor Mitchell.

He came to the door. “Janet! Come in!”

In his office, my emotions poured out. I told him I couldn’t overcome my bitterness against Nathan, but I was tired of carrying such a heavy burden.

Pastor Mitchell gently said, “The Scriptures say Jesus will carry our burdens. Remember?”

“Yes.”

“Jesus also said to forgive so we can be forgiven.”

“You’re right. I need to forgive Nathan. But I don’t know where he lives. The only person who might know would be his sister.”

Pastor Mitchell suggested that I call her. “Hopefully, she will direct you to Nathan,” he said.

With shaking hands, I phoned Marie the following evening. She sounded surprised and told me how to contact Nathan. “He’s in a hospital within driving distance, if you want to see him.”

I drove 92 miles to reach the hospital. I didn’t know why Nathan was there.

A nurse led me to Nathan’s room. I swallowed hard. His once handsome face was emaciated.

Our eyes locked and he sighed. “I’m so sorry, Janet. I broke our engagement after my hands began feeling numb. My doctor diagnosed me with multiple sclerosis. I didn’t want to burden you if I became unable to work at my job. If I’d tried to explain to you, it would’ve sounded like an excuse. So I kept silent. I was sure you’d have a good life without me. I left town, got a job and worked until I needed a wheelchair. I’m here now and may never live on my own again.”

Compassion melted away my bitterness. Forgiveness rose in my heart and I hugged Nathan. We both sobbed. “Nathan, please forgive me for my hatred. I’m so sorry!”

“Forgive me, Janet, for not telling you the truth. I’ll always love you. I’ve prayed you’d find happiness with someone else. But I’m so glad my prayers to see you again have been answered.”

I promised to visit Nathan often. I felt light as a feather.

Driving home, the snowy fields wrapped a blanket of peace around me. And I looked forward to visits with Nathan, my friend.