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A Good Word

Sharing My Story for God's Glory

Part 1

Far from the truth—that’s where I was. I lived and acted based on the world’s way of thinking. The only thing distinguishing me from a non-Christian was that I attended church. I went to clubs and parties, spending my time drinking and dancing into the wee hours of the night, then showed up in church on Sunday morning wearing a beautiful dress. After service, I left church at church. I thought I was alright because I believed there was a God in heaven.

When I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer and endured five years of radiation therapy with feelings of nausea and fatigue, I did not really understand it all. My parents tried to shelter me from the threatening ordeal. Besides, I still had years ahead of me. I couldn’t possibly die.

I believed what I wanted to believe when it was convenient. Spiritually deceived, lost, and unusable, I continued to play church into my young adult years. I went through life empty and did not know what I needed. I filled the void with alcohol, parties, and men. I paid the price in many ways, including having a child out of wedlock; my ex-boyfriend being charged for the attempted murder of the father of my child, now my husband; and living through many other undesirable situations.

Coming from East Africa, pregnancy before marriage was taboo due to the strict culture and custom to remain pure until after the wedding ceremony. My mother kept her head high while my relationship with my father took a fall and we avoided each other until after I gave birth.

One day, I found myself in a church that presented the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ and the born-again experience. As I listened to the message, I immediately felt whole, like someone who had found a lost child. An altar call was given to those who wanted to accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior, and immediately I got up. I just knew I needed this Savior. I felt that this was what I had been looking for all my life.

I remember some of the first evidences that my heart had been changed. Instantly, I was desperately hungry for the Word of God. I wanted to spend time with Him and participate in the things of God. At the same time, I still found myself in the clubs, at parties and being entertained by sexual lyrics, the kind that lure and entice people to act sensually and provocatively. I can vividly remember being in the club one night, the atmosphere filled with smoke, surrounded by men and women teasing and seducing one another, and for the first time I felt out of place. I wanted to leave but didn’t know how because I had come with friends. I stood in a corner frozen until it was time to go.

My desire to please men, party with friends, and drink alcohol faded away. My roller coaster relationship with the father of my child ended in 1997 when we got married and he joined me in serving the Lord. The first years of marriage were difficult. In trying to balance family responsibilities and full time jobs, we found ourselves drifting apart after the birth of each child. During those years, I suffered emotionally when I had a stillborn infant in the first trimester of pregnancy. Nevertheless, God made a way and sustained our marriage and family.

TANIA SCHUPPIUS is the coordinator of Women’s Ministries at Renewal Christian Center (RCC) in Landover, MD, and serves as a registered nurse and clinical manager in public health service. ©2006

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