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A Good Word

Single and Serving

By Ashley Jacobs

As a pastor’s daughter, I always envisioned myself growing up and going to Bible college. I would meet the man of my dreams, get married and live happily ever after as a stay-at-home mom and pastor’s wife. Instead, upon graduation from college I found myself renting a garage-turned-bedroom that still very closely resembled a garage. My best friend and college roommate had just transferred to a different college on the other side of the country, and my boyfriend of two years had just broken up with me, citing his “lack of peace” about our relationship—which I have since learned can be the Christian guy term for “fear of commitment.”  My own wonderful family was hundreds of miles away, but I knew the Lord had me living where I was for a reason. At this point, I realized the terrific plans I had for my own life may not, in fact, be the plans the Lord had for my life.

During this time, the Lord was faithful to comfort me again and again with Scripture verses that seemed to jump off the page at me. One of the most life-changing of these verses was Psalm 68:6 (NIV). “God sets the lonely in families.” I realized that in my own self-pity, I had forgotten that many others had to be experiencing these same feelings of loneliness and isolation. I felt the Lord prompting me to do something to reach out.

Learning to cook, I felt, had a twofold purpose. First, people who live alone usually eat alone, and that is no fun. Eating together would be a great way to help people step out of their lonely comfort zones and meet some new people. Second, I figured knowing how to put together a meal would certainly not hinder the Lord in finding a single man of God for me.

At the time, I didn’t know any single women my age who opened their homes to a bunch of young adults to come over and eat, but I decided not to let my marital status restrict my outreach.  I didn’t want to be lonely anymore.

Eventually, I moved out of the garage “bedroom” and started inviting people over for meals. Initially, it was a little harder than I thought. I probably called my mom fifteen times when I was attempting to cook my first turkey. I also found it was really difficult to meet other people like me. Most young adults go out to bars to meet new people, but I knew there must be other Christian young adults who were just as hungry to make friends as I was. Eventually, I made a few friends who didn’t have anywhere to go for lunch after church.

What started as an occasional meal after church has moved to a new night and turned into a weekly tradition. Each Thursday night, the house I now share with two great friends transforms into a home. Last month I served Thanksgiving dinner to fifteen friends (the turkey was much more of a success than my first attempt).  Now, anyone is welcome to come to our Thursday night dinners to eat and play games together. Though I’m not married yet, the Lord has been faithful to set me in a family made up of other formerly-lonely friends.

ASHLEY JACOBS is administrative coordinator to the director of National Girls Ministries.

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