Laugh Lines

A Birthday to Remember

Pam and Kathy by the city limits sign One of the writers of this newsletter recently experienced a birthday. To celebrate this auspicious occasion, I (known as The Younger) decided to take her (The Not-So-Young) to a destination unknown. Kathy is famous for surprising me and other friends with fun, mysterious locations. Now it was my turn. I consulted my two teenage daughters, who would be accompanying us. We all agreed on the perfect spot. We would take this Washington-bred missionary to Latin America and the Caribbean to someplace completely new and exotic. This trip would add to her souvenir spoon collection like no other trip had.

We asked her to block off the afternoon on the day of her birthday, and to dress casually and turn off her cell phone. Once she was in the car, we presented her with a gift bag of clues. Inside her package she found a rubber chicken and Bubba teeth. She began to wonder if she should have taken the other offer to go to a nice lunch and an afternoon of shopping.

We ate from a bucket of fried chicken as we made our way south on scenic Highway 7. The first few miles we filled with stories and events to catch us up on each other’s lives. The next set of road markers, our birthday captive began a series of questions. She asked, “So how far is it?” “I don’t think I’ve been this way before, have I?” The girls and I laughed and said, “No. You definitely haven’t been there before.”

After Hour 2, we pulled out more snacks and settled in for the rest of the trip. Kathy kept looking for any hints of celebration—or even civilization.

By Hour 3, snacks were running low and bladders were getting full. I assured the birthday girl that fun was just around the corner. We drove up a hill and were greeted by a big sign that read, “Booger Hollow, Arkansas. Population –7, counten’ one coon dog.”

I wheeled into a parking lot: the hub of activity for Booger Hollow. I had done researched all the facts necessary for a fabulous experience. The Web site mentioned the Booger Hollow trading post (spoons and postcards!), the Booger Hollow Diner (home of the Booger Burger) and the two-story outhouse (“Second floor is closed until we figure out the plumbin’”). We had good times in store!

I announced, “This is it! Happy birthday!”

We hopped out of the car and made our way to the trading post. Anxious to see what the good folk of Booger Hollow had to offer, we stepped up to the door and turned the knob. It was locked. I started laughing and looked for another door. There wasn’t one. Then I stepped back and began looking around. Conspicuously tall weeds were growing around the buildings and, come to think of it, no other cars were in sight.

Was there a special holiday I didn’t know about? Was it “Take Your Coon Dog Hunting Day”? I looked at Kathy and the girls, who stood there with Bubba teeth in their mouths and puzzlement on their faces.

I began mumbling, “…but the Web site said the store was open. We were going to buy you a spoon and try the Booger Burger. Why would a Web site not mention that the town was closed?” All the explanation in the world couldn’t replace the scowls on the faces of the weary, bathroom-challenged passengers.

Call me “punchy,” but this all struck me as very funny. I made a decision at that moment. No closed stores were going to prevent us from having a happy birthday for Kathy. I got out the camera and began snapping pictures as if we were at the Taj Majal. I took pictures in front of the trading post, in front of the diner, and in front of the outhouse. I even took pictures of the “Welcome to Booger Hollow” sign.

Then our 3 minutes of fun ended, and everyone began asking what was next. I told everyone to get back in the car. They obeyed, though far less trusting and less enthusiastic than the first time.

We began our trek back to Springfield as I regaled them with stories of my Arkansas roots (mother’s side). She grew up in Wiener (which is next to Grubbs), but I explained that time didn’t permit another excursion on this day. They groaned—I believe in disappointment.

We stopped and shopped at the “Who’d a Thought It?” store (souvenir spoon available) and viewed the Arkansas Grand Canyon (complete with postcards to purchase). We ended the day with a stop in Harrison for cheese rolls and cinnamon buns.

As I dropped Kathy off at her house, I asked, “So…have you ever had a birthday like this one?” She laughed, held up her Bubba teeth and said, “No, I never have. This one is truly original.”

Mission accomplished.

Pam and Kathy’s Tips to a Great Road Trip

Plan your route, location and travel time. But remember—call ahead to verify hours and seasonal closings.
Pack a little bag of mystery gifts for family or friends to unwrap along the way.
Plan your schedule, but be flexible. Some very fun memories happen at the most unexpected times!
Not every destination has to be far or expensive. If you’re with fun people, any place can become a great destination.
Keep a journal of your travels. Include pictures, tickets and brochures for fun scrapbooking and reliving the moments!
Choose a themed trip, such as a BBQ field trip. Go to BBQ restaurants all around the area and determine the best one.
Look at a map and travel to the smallest town, the biggest city, unusual landmarks within 100- mile radius, etc.