Laugh Lines

Ambushed

The bushes in front of our home have taunted me since we moved in. At the time, my husband said, “Don’t worry. After we get settled, we’ll have some landscaping done and it will look great.” Three years, later the ugly bushes were still staring at me.

One day something snapped. Maybe it was a spark of inspiration, maybe it was a low hormone day. Whatever it was, I decided it was time to do something about “the bushes.”

I innocently asked my husband, “Which vehicle are you taking today?”

He replied, “What are you up to, Lucy?” (He always calls me that when he thinks I’m up to something.)

“Well, I thought I would do something about those bushes out front. If I have any trouble, I’ll call. And yes, all our insurances are paid.”

He kissed me on the cheek and left in our car for work. I found a towrope and marched to the SUV with keys in hand. I drove up in the front yard about five feet away from the bushes. I attached one end of the rope to the tow bar of our truck and the other around the first bush. With the towrope securely fastened, I jumped in the driver’s seat and hit the 4-by-4 button. With a gleam in my eye, I began backing slowly. The botanical began giving way and with little effort popped out of the ground.

“Woo-hoo!” I yelled.

Quickly, I latched onto the four remaining bushes, ripping each of them out of the ground like a madwoman. Enjoying myself immensely, I began looking around the yard to see what else needed to be uprooted with the help of a towrope. Nothing. Rats.

“So, what now?” you might ask.

We carted the bushes away and the front of our home is a blank slate. But that’s okay.

I find that sometimes it’s necessary to root out the unwanted things in my life before I can plant something beautiful. My husband only hopes that in the future, it won’t involve a towrope.

Pam and Kathy’s 7 Tips to Landscaping Ideas

Visit a botanical garden and, for future reference, take pictures of plants you like.
Plan your yard to have something interesting blooming or changing color through the whole year.
Check with your local nursery to see if they will design your yard free of charge if you buy your plants from them.
Find out the optimum time for bulb planting in your area.
Find plants that naturally repel mosquitoes and other bugs.
Make sure you prepare the soil for specific plants before planting.
Decide how much time you want to commit to your yard before you begin re-landscaping.