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Laugh Lines

Poor Vision Not Poor Taste

Okay, I admit it—I just don’t see as well as I used to. I don’t need glasses to get around or to manage in almost every area of life, except one. I can’t read a bloomin’ thing! I asked the doctor and he said it was an “age issue.” I didn’t like the way he said that—and smiled.

When I go shopping, I can see items on shelves and racks, but I can’t make out the price tag or size label. When I go to a restaurant, I can view the food and enjoy the atmosphere, but I can’t read a word or price on the menu. When I get to church, the ultimate frustration begins. The pastor and others on the platform are in focus, but when I read my Bible or make notes, I need reading glasses. I can actually make myself dizzy looking up and down, with and without glasses. I have seen the pastor in contorted shapes that only cheap reading glasses can create.

I decided to just break down and buy a large print Bible. Then I could skip the reading glasses, look fashionable and no one would be the wiser. But I noticed several things about those Bibles. First, the words “Large Print” appear in very large letters right on the cover. Most of us do not want to advertise that to the rest of the world, especially younger friends.

I have also noticed that the large print versions don’t come with cute color covers, in slim models or with all the extra references. That just doesn’t seem fair. I want my Bible to look as fashionable as others. The fact that I have poor vision doesn’t mean I have poor taste. There is only one way to hide this weakness. Bible covers can zip the spine label inside and the large flaps, if held correctly, will not let others actually see the size of print I am happily reading. If all else fails, that zipped pouch can hide an extra pair of dollar store reading glasses, just in case I need them.