Laugh Lines

The Slowest Line

I must say that I have a special gift for always choosing the "special" checkout line. I have wondered if this is God's way of slowing me down and helping me to enjoy the people around me. You may have experienced this phenomenon yourself. Let's take a closer look at the things that happen in the "special" line. This one register won't function or runs out of register tape and jams when the clerk tries to put the new roll in. Only in this line will the person in front of you have trouble. Trouble with everything—like a lost wallet, rejected credit card, she changes her mind about her purchase, her coupons aren't all good or she decides to pay the huge total with a year's worth of saved coins.

When you have a loaded shopping cart and realize you really shouldn't have bought the frozen things, it always takes longer to get checked out. By the time you get home, your ice cream is slushy and the bread is flat. If you are in a big hurry and only need one or two items, it most definitely guarantees you the pleasure of being in the slowest possible line. This situation takes everything within you to maintain a good Christian witness.

One amazing thing happens in those long lines. People love to rally around a cause. I have noticed camaraderie develops among the poor souls who share the penalty of being in the longest line. People turn to one another and begin to discuss how long they are waiting, how they always get in the wrong line, and why the employees can't make lines go faster.

I have also discovered I have two possible reactions to the “special” line. I must admit, in the past I have joined in the foot tapping, growling and mean-spirited talk of a mutiny, and I only leave the store with tension and frustration. When I choose to smile, change the conversation and begin chatting with others in line about more positive things, it is amazing how the stress fades. God uses me to speak into lives, and somehow the line actually seems to move along at a much smoother rate. Pinch yourself the next time you are in the "special" line and see if God has put you there for a reason.

Pam and Kathy’s 7 Tips for Speedier Checkouts

Have your cash, check or card out and ready before it is time to pay.
Watch the prices on the screen as they appear, to catch any discrepancies quickly.
Place same type items together on the counter so they can be checked as multiples.
If you have coupons, notify the clerk first so he or she can credit them at the proper time.
Sort your items by category (frozen, fresh, canned, clothing) and group together for the bagging process.
Start bagging your own items if no designated person is ready to do that.
Pay your clerk with a smile and thank them by name if you can see his or her name tag.