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The Strong-Willed Wife

by Dr. Debbie Cherry
©2007 Dr. Debbie L. Cherry (published by NavPress)

Submission. To many women, this is tantamount to slavery. Particularly if you are strong-willed, the word submission conjures up barbarian, rudimentary images like being perpetually barefoot and pregnant.

In The Strong-Willed Wife, Dr. Debbie Cherry delves into what is easily one of the most misunderstood teachings of the Bible, and shows how submission and biblical authority are absolutely essential to a healthy marriage. She debunks the idea that a strong will and submission are mutually exclusive. The challenge is to allow the Holy Spirit to show us how He wants us to use our strong personalities to bring honor to himself—and to our husbands.

Cherry’s thorough treatment of the strong-willed personality is enlightening. She contrasts the strong will borne of a healthy home environment and positive reinforcement, to one shaped by a hurtful or abusive past. Regardless of how our wills are shaped, we must learn discipline, surrender and balance to allow the strong will to be productive rather than destructive.

Just as order is needed in our government, in our schools, in the military and any other well-run organization, God has established an order for the family—and He is not adjusting His blueprint for marriage to make us more comfortable. The bottom line is we are living in sin when we don’t obey the commands God sets forth for marriage, such as submitting to and respecting our husbands. But don’t despair just yet—Cherry goes on to describe in detail what submission is and what it is not.

Cherry’s discourse on the marriage relationship is biblically solid. Using Ephesians 5:22–33 as a springboard, she addresses the husband’s responsibilities by taking a practical look at how Christ loved the Church. And since Ephesians 5:22 says wives are to submit to their husbands “as to the Lord,” Cherry challenges wives to think about how they would esteem and honor and revere Jesus himself—and try that on their husbands!

All the while, Cherry reminds the reader that a strong will is not to be despised—in fact, it is to be celebrated. Thoughtfully prepared helps are given for the reader who is ready to change how she relates to her spouse.

Dr. Debbie L. Cherry is a licensed clinical psychologist, author and speaker. She is president and CEO of Today’s Family Treasures, a nonprofit ministry focused on restoring marriages and families. She and her husband, Jim, have been married 20 years and have four children.

PATTY KENNEDY is assistant web content editor for the national Women’s Ministries Department. She also writes book and music reviews for Pages and Tunes, a free e-newsletter provided by the national Women’s Ministries Department.

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