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Reflections

The Four Loves

Part 1

Valentine’s Day—whatever its beginnings—has become the time for expressing love, particularly to our one-and-only, but also to others we hold dear. Consequently, February is a good time to look at the various kinds of love referred to in Scripture. We will use the loves identified by C. S. Lewis in The Four Loves as a springboard for our thoughts.

Affection – Love in Old Shoes

Lewis identifies affection as the primary form of love, the love we learn as children. We felt it first when we were cradled and nurtured in our mother’s arms. Affection is the love family members feel for each other without identifying it. It is a non-judgmental, accepting kind of love that cherishes familiar ways of life.

As I searched for a symbol for this love, I thought of the comfort of old shoes—the ones you slip into when you come home after a long day at work. No style—no pretense—just what feels good. This is the feeling of comfortable love we need in our homes.

Other love forms come later in life, sometimes as the extension of affection. In the beginning, however, the affection of mother and child is “just there,” spreading to our entire family circle. Or it should be. Unfortunately, in our culture families have been fractured by pressures which crush natural affection, and family life becomes strained.

Affectionate love, when learned in the home, transfers to other circles. In fact, Paul uses this kind of love as an example of how Christians should relate to each other. He told the Romans “Be devoted to one another in brotherly love” (Romans 12:10, NIV), using the Greek word for affectionate love in families. He spends the rest of the chapter telling the Romans what that kind of love looks like.

The Church is likened to a fraternal fellowship in which people relate to each other with the genuine affection of healthy family members. When that loving climate is not found in families, the Church has a challenge. People who have not felt this kind of accepting love at home desperately need to feel that warmth from Christians.

Affection may be as comfortable as old shoes, but even good old shoes eventually wear out. When affection grows thin, we sense our need for another kind of love—the love of God which is “poured out …into our hearts by the Holy Spirit” (Romans 5:5, NIV). We’ll talk about that love later. For now, I’m just trying to walk in old shoes, keeping natural affection alive in our family.

Points to Ponder:

Observe various families among your acquaintances. Which ones seem to have strong natural affection? Can you identify attitudes or actions that strengthen love among family members? A mutual respect for each other is usually obvious. You may notice other things.

I would like to hear your thoughts on this vital topic. Share your thoughts at the following e-mail address: jdmusgrove@mchsi.com.

PEGGY MUSGROVE is a licensed Assemblies of God minister. She is also a speaker, freelance writer, author and prayer group leader. Her latest book, Musings of a Maraschino Cherry was released in 2004.. You can visit her at www.musgroveville.com.

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