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Falling Out of the Nest

One of the most difficult things we’re called on to do as ministers is comfort those who are going through a life-threatening illness or the death of a loved one. So many times we’ve sat on the edge of a hospital bed or stood at the end of a coffin, searching for words of comfort and hope, knowing that nothing but prayer, love and time will make a difference. Through this process, most of us have become familiar with the five stages of grief: denial, anger, guilt, depression and acceptance.

Has it ever occurred to you that dealing with a prodigal child can run that same gamut of emotions? Just as with sickness or death, we’re grieving a frightening change, a devastating separation, and very real loss—a loss of childhood innocence and family relationships, of hopes and dream, both theirs and our own, and in some cases critical, formative years that can never be recovered. Then over this raging emotional maelstrom, a haunting hiss is heard: “Physician, heal thyself.” As ministers we should know how, but . . .

It’s hard enough when a child leaves home under positive circumstances. Many parents duel the dreaded empty nest syndrome with stiff upper lips, knowing that it’s part of the natural, necessary process. I remember waving our youngest son off to college and his own years of identity struggles. Besides leaving an empty room in our home and hearts, he was driving my convertible! No wonder I was crying.

Still, it’s one thing to fly the nest, quite another to fall out of it. No wonder our first defense is denial.

This can’t be happening to us, we think. This happens only to other people’s children. Clueless people. Messed-up people. Hypocritical people. Not godly pastor-people. And if it does—well, just maybe they’re not as godly as everyone thought. Nope. We’re not ready to go there.

So we snuggle deeper into our sanctimonious security blanket. Hasn’t God given us principles in His Word to follow and promises to believe? And what about divine protection? We can quote those verses word for word. We also know that these principles and promises are there to be applied, indicating that we’ll inevitably encounter a difficult situation at some point. But A plus B still equals C, right? You just plug in a principle, appropriate a promise or two and voila! Problem solved.

If only.

I’m in no way implying that we can’t depend on God’s principles and promises. Nor am I saying we shouldn’t apply and appropriate them. They’re our hope and our comfort, as well as what we comfort others with—ancient anchors, reliable refuges.

But no escape hatches.

When these times of testing come, we must understand and believe just as strongly in God’s sovereignty, timing and ultimate purposes.

Taken from Prodigal in the Parsonage by Judi Braddy, © 2004 by Beacon Hill Press of Kansas City, Kansas City, MO. Used be permission of publisher. All rights reserved. Available from www.bhillkc.com.

JUDI BRADDY is a writer, motivational speaker, licensed minister, pastor’s wife, mom and (very young) grandma. The author of four books--Prodigal in the Parsonage; It All Comes Out in the Wash; True North, and Simple Seasons--Judi has lived through scads of seasons and turned over a number of new leaves.  Basically she and King Solomon have come to the same conclusion—there is a time and season for everything.  Judi and husband, Jim, live in Elk Grove, California. For more information about her writing and speaking, visit her witty website at www.judibraddy.com.

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