Meet Marcy Jones

Side by Side

Moving often, criticism, loneliness…undoubtedly these are three of the most common struggles every pastor’s wife faces. How do we cope and still manage to minister effectively? Since we all react differently, there are no easy answers. Maybe it just helps to know we’re not alone.

One of the things I’ve appreciated the most about the interviews we’ve done over the last year with pastors’ wives from across our fellowship is the honesty. Today is no exception. Let’s meet a busy pastor’s wife who is also a teacher, and see what we can learn.

Marcy Jones Marcy received a Bachelor of Arts degree from Bethany University in Santa Cruz, California, followed later by a Masters degree in curriculum and instruction from San Diego State University. She carries a California teaching credential and is currently employed by the Cajon Valley School District, teaching a 2nd and 3rd grade combo class. She and husband, Gary, have been married for 30 years, have three children ages 22, 24, and 27, and one grandchild. Marcy’s place of ministry is alongside her husband, who serves as senior pastor at Faith Chapel in Spring Valley, California. Marcy considers her public school students and their families an extension of her ministry as well.

Here’s how Marcy answered our interview questions:

How did God lead you into ministry?

I married into the ministry when I married Gary. However, I was raised in a pastor’s home, and felt since I was in junior high that God had a place of ministry for me. That was one of the reasons I went to a Bible college.

What area of ministry stirs your deepest passion?

It has been different at every church we’ve pastored. First we were youth pastors in both Nevada and Ohio, and my whole focus was with youth and children. I taught children’s church and also worked with my husband in youth ministry. At one of our churches, I started a junior high ministry because one was needed. When my own children were young we moved to Woodland, California, where I helped out with children’s ministries and was eventually asked to come on staff as children’s director. Our first senior pastor position was in Burlingame, California, and I was asked to be the Women’s Ministries sectional representative for the Peninsula Section. Then we went on staff at First Assembly of God in San Diego, California, and I was asked to be the women’s director. Since coming to Faith Chapel, I have been serving on the women’s board. As you can see, I’ve done a variety of things depending on what the situation called for. At this point I would say my real passion is supporting my husband and helping women.

What do you find most rewarding about the ministry?

Over the years it’s been rewarding to watch the call of God on student’s lives, and see them go into full-time ministry. It has also been very fulfilling to know that at times God has used me to minister to someone in need.

What areas do you find most difficult?

First of all, moving from one church to another has been very difficult for me. It’s hard to leave friends and familiar surroundings, and uproot children to start all over again.

Then there is criticism. It’s been a challenge at times to keep my mouth shut and not say something to people who are critical and unfair to my husband’s and my ministry. It’s difficult to continue loving and praying for people who have hurt you or your family.

Finally, there’s the loneliness. I have learned from experience not to have my closest friends at church. My husband is my best friend and the only one I can really share my heart with.

How do you balance ministry, family and outside responsibilities?

Sometimes better than others! I feel family comes first before ministry. When we first started in ministry, I heard someone remark how sad it is for the minister that wins the world but loses his family because of misplaced priorities. Both my husband and I grew up in pastor’s homes where the church always came first. When our children were younger, we tried to put their needs first. We were very involved when they played sports and tried to be at all their games.

Early in our ministry, we were told by our pastor that the youth came before our own children, and that our children would be fine with quality time and not quantity time. But I realized that when I sacrificed time spent with my own children, it was something they would never forget and may even resent. I also learned that soon after you leave a church, the people who you ministered to and sacrificed for quickly move on to their new pastor and forget about you (which is the way it should be). So I chose to be a mom and stay home with our children. I didn’t start teaching school full-time until my children were all in school.

What is your favorite way to relax?

Reading a book is the best way for me to relax. Murder mysteries are my favorite! Also, spending time with my husband walking, shopping, going to the beach, playing golf, or dining out are great ways to unwind.

What do you know now that you wish you had known when you began?

God comes first, then family, and finally the church. Take time for yourself—you can’t serve with an empty cup. Be willing to be stretched. And remember, God never wastes a hurt.

Learn to say no! Only do what God has called you to do, and not what everyone tells you to do. “I can do all things through Christ” does not mean you have to do all things. The body of Christ has many members, and everyone needs to do their part. In one of the churches we served, I was told I had to be in charge of the nursery because that was the youth pastor’s wife’s job. At another church, I was told by a board member that the pastor’s wife was to do any job that didn’t have a volunteer. Since no one came forward to lead the musical program for VBS, I was put in charge even though I have absolutely no musical ability.

What changes have you seen since you first started in the ministry?

You don’t have to be able to play the piano and sing to be a viable partner in ministry.

What one thing would you like to share with every young minister’s wife?

Be yourself. Love your husband and respect his ministry. Find your own place of ministry in the church. Do what God has called you to do.

Share a favorite Scripture or life verse.

Jeremiah 29:11: “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future’” (NIV).