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Women@Work

Superwoman You’re Not

You may think you’re Superwoman and can do it all. You may convince everyone else and even yourself that you are, but that doesn’t make it so. There haven’t been any superwomen created in quite a long time.

I once thought I was. I worked full-time, wrote books, took care of the house and yard, made the major family purchases, taught in the church, sang in a couple of choirs, sewed, did handiwork, etc. It used to be a joke around our office about how many things I could do at the same time. People used to tell me how tired I looked, and I thought it was some kind of badge of honor.

I guess I’m pretty tough. It took some time for the crash to come, but when it did, it was huge. I wore out on all sides all at once. I became so numb from overwork that I could no longer sort out my life.

I’ve learned that I am not Superwoman. And now that I’ve made that admission, I find that I no longer want to be. I’m still involved in a lot of activities, but I’m not trying so hard to prove who I am by my work. I’m motivated by a different set of values than I once was.

Most of us have a limit as to how much we can do and still thrive. Realistically assessing what you can do without becoming frustrated, burning out, or costing your family a huge price will lend longevity, contentment, and joy to your working life more than anything else you can do.

You might use these questions to assess the busyness of your life:

• Would I be more effective if I took more time for myself—time to think, read and pray?
• Would I be more effective if I took some additional training?
• Should I lower my standard of housekeeping to make room for these pursuits?
• Is there someone living with me who could help me more?
• Are my children involved in the care and maintenance of our home, or am I allowing them to be lazy and not learn how to help?
• Am I driven by guilt and a need to prove myself?
• Would I be more effective if I were not such a perfectionist?

We know we can’t have it all. But if we could—would we want it? Be honest. Would you? What truly brings meaning to your life?

For most of us the answer is family, friends, and our relationship with God. Many of us would also include activities like gardening and sewing, sports and exercise. If we cut back on our busyness, we’ll have time for that which brings meaning to our lives.

What, more than anything else, do you want to do or be? Could you, by cutting back on busyness, find five or ten minutes today to spend on that goal?

What is realistic for us as working women? Each woman must decide for herself—but she must consciously decide. Choosing to ignore the issue is in itself a decision—a decision to let circumstances manage us instead of our being able to manage them.

Excerpted from Thriving As A Working Woman by Gwen Ellis. Reprinted with permission. Gwen may be reached at www.seasidecreativeservices.com

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